Where are all the ex-gays?

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straight-coupleThere are as many ex-gays as there are gays, so scientific research has proved (click here). At this point the natural question arises—if there are so many ‘ex-gays’ in the population, where are they? Very few readers will ever have met any that they know of. It is no wonder the GLB community is very skeptical about whether real change occurs, though the scientific conclusion of the researchers involved is that it does, and spontaneously, without clinical intervention, as life goes on.

There are good reasons why this group has remained hidden:

–    Most who have changed to Opposite Sex Attractions have some embarrassment about their previous life, and don’t like to talk about it.
–    Many believe the change to OSA has been real and permanent, and OSA is now their core identity. They don’t want to talk about their previous sexual orientation. Life has moved on.

–    If they are now heterosexually involved, admission of previous Same Sex Attractions may jeopardize a present relationship

–    If they publicly admit their previous SSA they will be subject to hostile, public and relentless attacks by members of the gay community. Since many of these ‘ex-gays’ are on the more timid end of the confidence scale, they keep their heads down. The late Dean Byrd from his experiences with clients said “Do you know what happens when someone says he or she is ex-gay? Their lives and the lives of their families become a living hell. They are taunted by the activists, their families humiliated”.

waynebesenSome ex-gays are even followed by gay-lib extremists with cameras, for example the notorious Wayne Besen (website Truth Wins Out, click here), to “expose” them if they see or familiarize with a gay guy. Then they are publicly shamed with camera ‘evidence’ on You Tube, shaming their wives, kids at school, and making them lose their job (click here).

In a recent post, Besen’s comments indicate extreme gratification as a result of his persecutions (click here): “This victory is profoundly gratifying and a landmark defeat for conversion therapists,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen (click here). 

And he is not done yet. We, guys who correspond to one another on a website called ‘People Can Change’, are next on his list of dissidents. Click here for the next move as intolerant gay-lib extremists move in to prevent the ex-gay movement from expressing themselves in society.

–    Few of the changes are to 100% OSA and many people who have changed are perhaps uneasy about the few percent SSA that remains, since activists tend to argue in an absolutist fashion that even a remnant few percent SSA shows that real change does not happen, and that you are truly gay, it would be your inner core. This stance is also taken in by Gay Affirmative Therapy; they convince vulnerable youngsters that the slightest presence of SSA’s is proof that you are gay, evidence of your true inner nature. All heterosexual interests are labeled as self-deception, brainwashing and ‘internalized homophobia’.

–    In contrast, a currently exclusive gay who was once OSA is likely to say his previous OSA was a superficial layer covering a core SSA identity, and will be more willing to dismiss his previous identity, often for political reasons.



The degree of hostility towards those who have changed is extreme, and close to a total denial of free speech. Posters that appeared nation-wide in the USA in the nineties showing a large group of people and a message saying: “Can gays change? We did” infuriated a few radical members of gay activist groups. Some posters were torn down.

A national ad offensive was mounted in disparagement and denial. Most heterosexual people would find such a claim intriguing, but not insulting to the GLB community. But one gay spokesman at Penn State where this occurred called this “the most dangerous expression of heterosexism I have yet seen”. Faculties in universities have sometimes intervened to order removal of such posters and have shut down organizations on campus backing their message.

london-busIn February 2013 the mayor of London, Boris Johnson, allowed an ad on buses stating “Some people are gay, get over it”. When an ex-gay group applied for a similar poster on buses stating “Ex-gay, post-gay and proud”, Johnson banned their ads from the buses. Johnson stated that the ad was offensive to the gay community (click here). This is symptomatic of the resentment and intolerance that ex-gays have to face.


The threat of totalitarianism

In the past two decades we witness an increasing and almost totalitarian policing of public discourse. More and more, all sorts of anti-discrimination lobbies are using tactics as though they were a junior member of the Spanish Inquisition.

splcA group of lawyers, the SPLC, have turned what they label ‘hate speech’ into a million dollar industry, $350 million a year to be exact (click here). They started off exposing the Ku Klux Klan. But when these people had effectively been silenced, the lawyers ran out of issues. Since then, they exploit this KKK success and are expanding the amount of things that are to be labeled ‘hate speech’. The list is staggering. Cities and rural areas are mapped (click here) and everywhere an almost endless array of people are to be persecuted. Even attitudes have been put on the list. And in doing so, their income is guaranteed, an unprecedented industrial innovation. They have created a goose that lays golden eggs. The result will of course ultimately be a totalitarian society in which public discourse becomes an extremely dangerous affair. They are creating an intimidated and divided society that thrives on the concept of mutual distrust and hatred.


Recently lawyers succeeded in persecuting a non-profit support group of orthodox ex-gay Jews for their meetings where they share their religious values amongst themselves (click here). Proudly, the lawyers state on their website:

“In a landmark pre-trial ruling in that case, a judge excluded several leading reparative therapy proponents from testifying as defense witnesses because their opinions were based on the false premise that homosexuality is a disorder.”

This means then, that reparative therapists themselves are excluded beforehand, so that they do not even get a fair chance to explain what reparative therapy is really all about. The judge hears the accusing lawyers, buys into their worldview and the bogus terminology they throw at him, and then he excludes other views prohibiting an accurate first-hand description of the subject. The joy in gay-lib is great at this “victory”. No reparative therapist was allowed admission to defend the matter while reparative therapy was basically put on trial. Freedom of speech has evaporated, even in the courtroom. We have no rights anymore.

Why should the fluidity of sexual orientation threaten any gay who is secure in his or her identity? Well, as has been proved in research, homosexual orientation is much less secure than heterosexual orientation, so suggestions that change is possible naturally stir up much anxiety.


The best summary of this article would be that there is a large degree of spontaneous change, admitted by all researchers except the extremely ideologically motivated. And these people are into a well-coordinated and heavily financed disinformation campaign to slander and demonize dissident behavior. The rumors that are deliberately being spread are vicious, deceitful and malign, to the point where even totally unfounded terminology like “killing”, “torture”, “murder”, “reparative rape” and “induction of psychosis” is now common practice. Every gay-libber copies the words of the previous blogger to the point that no-one knows where these phrases really came from. And gay-lib doesn’t really care either. The goal is a national frenzy. As Tina Turner sings: any old music will do.

This phenomenon is unheard of, and rings a bell about the way Adolf Hitler gained public support to persecute the Jewish minority. And everybody appears to buy into it. No Western government has ever intervened in the specific content of psychotherapy. Regulation goes no further than stating general protocols; professionals in the health care system have always enjoyed professional freedom. And this freedom is necessary to do your job for the unique client seeking your help.

Freedom of speech in the therapy room and diverting views are the motor for scientific progress. Bans on which client demands therapists may or may not address, even if client and therapist agree with each other,  turns psychotherapy into an act of political correctness. Radical gay-lib now tries to enforce a particular political stance on a professional community. It wants to petrify its views, to turn them into stone, to create a sort of Ten Commandments engraved in stone slabs, ruling out all moderate views within the emancipation movement. This sort of intervention, this micro-management of psychotherapy based on the prevailing political powers, is totally new, and constitutes an alarming precedent for the psychiatric community. And no-one is aware or seems to care. The victim card is played so well. A Kafka scenario. FEAR SELLS.


home-75-p-finalThis article is based on research by Neil Whitehead, PhD, a New Zealand scientist working for the United Nations (click here).