Tag Archives: reparative therapy

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 23: When Nasty Becomes Psychopath

In our previous articles (21 and 22), we started exploring the consequences of the narcissistic-triadic family constellation. Frustrations can make you needy (part 21). In part 22, we showed how in more severe cases ‘needy’ can become ‘nasty’. Now we will take it one step further and reveal how ‘nasty’ can even become ‘psychopathic’, the saddest coping strategy of them all. In the first part of this article, we will look at the diagnosis from different angles.  In part 2, we will look into the therapy by analyzing an email from James about his past life events. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 23: When Nasty Becomes Psychopath

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 21: Being Needy

Neediness, your life consists of neediness. Needy as a kid, needy as an adult. But look at that guy out there, he doesn’t have that. Wow, look at that self-confidence. He is not needy, he is just great. He walks, hangs around, or just gazes. He does so with beautiful eyes, with nice hair, and a great body although he is not even a bodybuilder. How does he do it? I, on the other hand (so you feel,) am needy. Why isn’t he the same? Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 21: Being Needy

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 19: The Snap Game

In part 18, we studied detachment from a theoretical perspective. In this article, we will demonstrate how it works in daily life. Men who predominantly experience Opposite Sex Attractions (OSA’s) attach to other men in a carefree way. But men who experience many Same Sex Attractions (SSA’s) also find themselves incessantly detaching from others. Two opposing forces appear to be at work: Attaching and Detaching. By means of a simple mind game, the Snap Game, you may start recognizing them. We will show three different insights that the game can lead to. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 19: The Snap Game

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 18: Overcoming defensive detachment

In her 1983 book ‘The Early Development of Gender Identity’, the British research psychologist Elisabeth Moberley laid the foundation for a deeper understanding of same-sex attractions. Her contribution of the concept of defensive detachment is the groundwork for effective psychotherapeutic help that followed from a causal model. In this article, we will look into the mechanisms of detachment, and identify the challenge to recognize it when you are doing it. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 18: Overcoming defensive detachment

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 15: Learning new narratives

In this article, we will investigate the switch-off moments that can occur on all sorts of occasions. We will show an array of 24 instances that some men sent me, and we shall demonstrate a way to create a new narrative. The goal is to learn to connect to other people instead of retreating into yourself as you have always done. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 15: Learning new narratives

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects

How come you can look at men, admire them, watch porn about men (sometimes even having sex with men), but never seem to get that lasting basic satisfaction that you are yearning for? Why does it wear off so fast? After all, a holiday in Alaska or Hawaii doesn’t wear off at that rate. What are you doing wrong? It seems as if you are incessantly filling your private little masculinity bucket with maleness that you glean from others (men are great), but next day the bucket is empty again. It is quite simple: there is a hole in the bucket. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects

Exploring Your Full Sexual Potential, part 13: Jeremy’s little sad notebook

Playing games is important. How are we to dig deeper into the sediments of old events which have made one feel unnecessarily different from others? There is an easy way: we can to do it as do little children. They invent their own games,  share emotions, access their creativity and work their way out of it. Kids are great. Men who have lived their lives in Squaw Camp, have gotten to become frustrated at a deeply emotional level. But they are so used to this life, so used to the lack of alternatives, that their frustrations just seem to be part of who they are. So, let us use, or rather, make up games. Here is one: Jeremy’s little sad notebook. Continue reading Exploring Your Full Sexual Potential, part 13: Jeremy’s little sad notebook

Exploring your full sexual potential,‭ ‬part‭ ‬12:‭ ‬OSA-game‭ ‬#1

Nothing is more fun than playing games with old feelings that haunt you.‭ Kids play games with mingled feelings all the time, and it is a great way to get over them. ‬One of those spooks is the opposite sex, the elusive feeling for women.‭ Here is‬ a game which helps to get to the bottom of your feelings:‭ ‬the Opposite Sex Attractions Game,‭ ‬number‭ ‬1. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential,‭ ‬part‭ ‬12:‭ ‬OSA-game‭ ‬#1

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 11: The Wolf Pack Game

3-w-pakMen who experience same-sex attractions (SSA’s) are often bewildered by them, and fail to understand the origins of these feelings. Very often, these men will also express feelings of inferiority. SSA’s can be considered street signs, pointing in the direction of unresolved issues. There are lengthy ways through psychotherapy to overcome feelings of inferiority, but there is also a short-cut: the Wolf Pack Game. In this article we will demonstrate the feelings and the way in which the Wolf Pack Game can help. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 11: The Wolf Pack Game