In this article, we will investigate the switch-off moments that can occur on all sorts of occasions. We will show an array of 24 instances that some men sent me, and we shall demonstrate a way to create a new narrative. The goal is to learn to connect to other people instead of retreating into yourself as you have always done. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 15: Learning new narratives
Tag Archives: reparative therapy
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects
How come you can look at men, admire them, watch porn about men (sometimes even having sex with men), but never seem to get that lasting basic satisfaction that you are yearning for? Why does it wear off so fast? After all, a holiday in Alaska or Hawaii doesn’t wear off at that rate. What are you doing wrong? It seems as if you are incessantly filling your private little masculinity bucket with maleness that you glean from others (men are great), but next day the bucket is empty again. It is quite simple: there is a hole in the bucket. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects
Exploring Your Full Sexual Potential, part 13: Jeremy’s little sad notebook
Playing games is important. How are we to dig deeper into the sediments of old events which have made one feel unnecessarily different from others? There is an easy way: we can to do it as do little children. They invent their own games, share emotions, access their creativity and work their way out of it. Kids are great. Men who have lived their lives in Squaw Camp, have gotten to become frustrated at a deeply emotional level. But they are so used to this life, so used to the lack of alternatives, that their frustrations just seem to be part of who they are. So, let us use, or rather, make up games. Here is one: Jeremy’s little sad notebook. Continue reading Exploring Your Full Sexual Potential, part 13: Jeremy’s little sad notebook
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 12: OSA-game #1
Nothing is more fun than playing games with old feelings that haunt you. Kids play games with mingled feelings all the time, and it is a great way to get over them. One of those spooks is the opposite sex, the elusive feeling for women. Here is a game which helps to get to the bottom of your feelings: the Opposite Sex Attractions Game, number 1. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 12: OSA-game #1
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 11: The Wolf Pack Game
Men who experience same-sex attractions (SSA’s) are often bewildered by them, and fail to understand the origins of these feelings. Very often, these men will also express feelings of inferiority. SSA’s can be considered street signs, pointing in the direction of unresolved issues. There are lengthy ways through psychotherapy to overcome feelings of inferiority, but there is also a short-cut: the Wolf Pack Game. In this article we will demonstrate the feelings and the way in which the Wolf Pack Game can help. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 11: The Wolf Pack Game
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 10: Joshua and computer programs
In part 9 we demonstrated the temper rages that many SSA men went through at a very young age. I received an email from Joshua who recognized himself in the description. In this article, we intend to lift the veil off this shameful and embarrassing behavior. We will put temper rages center stage and explain the working of the mind as though it is run by computer scripts. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 10: Joshua and computer programs
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 9: Soul Murder
Thirty years ago, Dr. Leonard Shengold MD, introduced the concept of “soul murder” to the world of psycho-analytically based therapy. His insights in the book “Soul Murder” (1989) were well acclaimed, and also prove to be useful as a uniting concept that explains why men with same-sex attractions can on the one hand be close to women, but on the other hand fail to fall in love with them. Let us follow his narrative on the way in which the authentic male child cannot be found any more at an adult level, lost in the mists of time. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 9: Soul Murder
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 8: The fear issue
In his answers to the self-help questionnaire, Gregor from Ukraine sent me an array of traumatic memories of his boyhood on the farm where he grew up. As a child, he felt isolated and grew up to become extremely uncomfortable with the outside world. His fear of his peers is an issue which is seen very often in men struggling with same-sex attractions. We will show his answers, and then review them in relationship to (1) role of the father, (2) the role of the mother, (3) the role of peers and (4) Gregor’s anger and fear issues. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 8: The fear issue
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 6: A Self-help Questionnaire
In this article we present a self-help questionnaire, designed to help men who experience Same-Sex Attractions (SSA) understand their psycho-sexual development, and to help focus on crucial issues. We do this because the understanding of the psychology of sexual development has come a long way in the past twenty years. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 6: A Self-help Questionnaire
Exploring your full sexual potential, part 4: Breaking free from Squaw Camp
In the previous article, we showed that your problem is living in Squaw Camp during your childhood years. There you learnt to suppress and deny any hint of opposite-sex attractions. But how did you manage to survive? What happened to you, in what way did you learn to comply? And, above all, how do you break free from those shackles? Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 4: Breaking free from Squaw Camp