I was reading the daily news on my smartphone the other day, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, I saw this new campaign to be launched to change professional soccer into a more inclusive environment for, as they put it: ‘gay’ and ‘bisexual’ soccer players. Because in Belgium, there are no openly ‘gay’ professional soccer players. And that has to change, so we are informed. Damn, June. Pride Month. I had forgotten. Mosquitoes, sunburn, and Pride Month. How could I forget? Not to mention horny frogs, croaking in my pond all night. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 37: “I can’t play soccer for nuts”
When a young man leaves an enmeshed relationship with his mother, it won’t be an easy journey. The sense of self was nipped in the bud due to boundaries being blurred. But now that he is venturing into new terrain, empty feelings are bound to arise. It is so pervasive that countless men who sexualize same-sex attractions will ultimately resort back to their old state of enmeshment. Many remain there for the rest of their days. In others, enmeshment will flicker like an orange traffic light. When emptiness becomes the gut feeling, it is then that the ready-made “gay” identity sounds like a gift from heaven. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 36: Enmeshment and the “gay” identity
A mother can be a major source of enmeshment. Why don’t naked girls fill my dreams?’ This question lingers ever so often in the mind of men who struggle with same-sex attractions (SSA’s) and for whom those attractions appear to leave so much unfulfilled in their life. It seems as if there is a lack of attraction to the opposite sex. The truth is, however, that men who experience SSA’s have just as many opposite-sex attractions (OSA’s) as anyone else but they do not perceive those feelings as sexual. Enmeshment is standing in the way. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 35: Enmeshment with the mother
If sexuality is never fixed like a stone but more like the moving of sand as the tide flows in and out, how can one create new configurations? In this article, we will start tackling the issues that block the road to new insights. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 33: The forces behind same-sex attractions
In 2019, science proved for once and for all that there is no genetic proof for the slogan ‘born that way”, that is to say, born with an exclusive potential for homosexual behavior and a total lack of heterosexual capacity. When studying sexuality, there are no genetic differences to be found between so-called “groups” who would have separate sexualities. Genetically identifiable groups do not exist.
To this end, the full genetic makeup of a half million random people in the US and the UK was chartered by a team of scientists. It was published in the magazine Science on the 4th of September 2019 by Benjamin Neale and 19 international colleagues.
“There is certainly no single genetic determinant for same-sex behavior (sometimes referred to as the “gay gene” in the media). All measured common variants do not allow meaningful prediction of an individual’s sexual preference. The researchers emphasize the importance of resisting simplistic conclusions”. Continue reading Science finds no genetic origin of homosexual behavior
Human life can be seen as a pattern of emotional, physical, and spiritual growth. It is like the ocean beating on the shore as we grow older, forming a never-ending pattern of bumps and cracks in the sand. In paradox psychology, we recognize that thoughts and feelings can even be at odds with one another while the tide of life flows in and out, creating the small mounds of sand and then washing them away again. In one-dimensional psychology, however, the coming and going of the tide (or feelings and behavior) are denied, and everything is brought down to a simple and cheap slogan: born that way. That is to say, it has always been that way and will always stay that way. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 31: Attachment theory
Is being perfect a blessing or a curse? In paradox psychology, we view perfectionism as a two-sided coin. Both statements are true, in the same person and at the same time. This is the core of paradox psychology, a way of viewing human life as an array of opposites, which never appear to meet. They seem irreconcilable, and yet, they are there. All we need to do is to investigate them until the next paradox comes along, which we then investigate also. After some time, the original paradox just fades out of view, out of importance. We do not resolve the issue, we transcend it. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 30: the two-sided coin of perfectionism
One of the greatest contributions to science by the late Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., was his revealing the existence of double-binds. Painstakingly, he demonstrated how men who experience same-sex attractions are often caught up in a set of totally contradictory feelings, more often than when one experiences opposite-sex attractions. Not only are they contradictory, they appear to be incompatible. A world of paradoxes comes into view which cannot be understood in a straightforwardly way. Paradoxes feel uncomfortable and yearn intensely to be resolved. This article aims to change the usual narrative and to come to peace with them. They are very private friends. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 29: Paradox psychology
The opinion editor of The Washington Examiner, Brad Polumbo, writes on the 16th of March 2020: “As if we needed more evidence that progressive, identity politics activism is a grift, several left-wing groups that fundraise off of gay and transgender rights are greedily trying to turn the coronavirus into a victimhood issue. A letter that was constructed is just another cynical attempt by left-wing gay and transgender activist organizations to fuel the fake victimhood narrative they need to keep their donor base engaged.” Continue reading No, coronavirus is not an ‘LGBTQ’ victimhood issue
In the radical gay-lib ideology, much emphasis is placed on being a victim. It has become the core of all activist thinking these days, justifying a war on others. But cultivating victim-hood has a down-side. It robs a person from assuming a more assertive and powerful stance. Weakness comes up and the chances of reaching goals wither away. Sometimes, being a victim has an authentic cause, but more often than not, the stance becomes addictive. People who are highly sensitive are particularly prone to feeling like a victim. In this article, we will investigate that problem. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 28: “Victims feel too much”