Category Archives: Exploring sexual potential

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 20/24: Fear of Rejection

Strange how my arm clicks at night on the mouse and all of a sudden, the computer surfs to a nice porn site. I fail to see how my arm does that. My hand seems to move, and then: clickety click. This hunk appears. Hmm, not my type. Barely have I said that to myself, and clickety-click: Mr. Handsome is there smiling at me. Check out his self-confidence. Clickety-click. What do you know? Two guys looking absolutely amazing, having such fun together. How does my arm do it? It’s simple. My arm has led me to a nice safe environment: there is no one out there to reject me. My arm has found a coping mechanism for my fear of rejection. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 20/24: Fear of Rejection

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 19/24: Attaching and Detaching, the Snap Game

In part 18, we studied detachment from a theoretical perspective. In this article, we will demonstrate how it works in daily life. Men who predominantly experience Opposite Sex Attractions (OSA’s) attach to other men in a carefree way. But men who experience many Same Sex Attractions (SSA’s) also find themselves incessantly detaching from others. Two opposing forces appear to be at work: Attaching and Detaching. By means of a simple mind game, the Snap Game, you may start recognizing them. We will show three different insights that the game can lead to. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 19/24: Attaching and Detaching, the Snap Game

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 18/24: Overcoming defensive detachment

In her 1983 book ‘The Early Development of Gender Identity’, the British research psychologist Elisabeth Moberley laid the foundation for a deeper understanding of same-sex attractions. Her contribution of the concept of defensive detachment is the groundwork for effective psychotherapeutic help that followed from a causal model. In this article, we will look into the mechanisms of detachment, and identify the challenge to recognize it when you are doing it. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 18/24: Overcoming defensive detachment

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 17/24: Creating freedom in conversations

In the previous part, we ended by saying: The more you focus on the feelings of the other person, the less you will be preoccupied with self-doubt and self-consciousness”. But what if the other person is very self-indulgent and you find yourself becoming part of the wallpaper in the process, as you have done so often? How does one handle such a situation? Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 17/24: Creating freedom in conversations

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 16/24: Heighten your self-esteem

Men who experience SSA’s are switching off in their daily lives toward those who live around them. They feel that they are not connected to society, and are the odd man out. The way to get out of this predicament is quite simple: switch on again. Homosexuality is not just a question of gender low self-esteem, it is low self-esteem all around. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.  Here is how. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 16/24: Heighten your self-esteem

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 15/24: Switching on, practical aspects

In this article, we will investigate the switch-off moments that can occur on all sorts of occasions. We will show an array of 24 instances that some men sent me, and we shall demonstrate a way to create a new narrative. The goal is to learn to connect to other people instead of retreating into yourself as you have always done. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 15/24: Switching on, practical aspects

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14/24: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects

How come you can look at men, admire them, watch porn about men (sometimes even having sex with men), but never seem to get that lasting basic satisfaction that you are yearning for? Why does it wear off so fast? After all, a holiday in Alaska or Hawaii doesn’t wear off at that rate. What are you doing wrong? It seems as if you are incessantly filling your private little masculinity bucket with maleness that you glean from others (men are great), but next day the bucket is empty again. It is quite simple: there is a hole in the bucket. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 14/24: Switching on and off, theoretical aspects