Tag Archives: ex-gay

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 20/24: Fear of Rejection

Strange how my arm clicks at night on the mouse and all of a sudden, the computer surfs to a nice porn site. I fail to see how my arm does that. My hand seems to move, and then: clickety click. This hunk appears. Hmm, not my type. Barely have I said that to myself, and clickety-click: Mr. Handsome is there smiling at me. Check out his self-confidence. Clickety-click. What do you know? Two guys looking absolutely amazing, having such fun together. How does my arm do it? It’s simple. My arm has led me to a nice safe environment: there is no one out there to reject me. My arm has found a coping mechanism for my fear of rejection. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 20/24: Fear of Rejection

1. Bias: organization bias in radical gay-lib rhetoric

Radical gay-lib has issued many statements in its endeavour to ban reparative therapy, but how biased are they? In a series of articles, we will look into various aspects of bias. We shall demonstrate the way it harms our perception of organizations, documents, surveys and professional recommendations. Extremist factions in gay-lib use bias deliberately, as we shall see. The first bias to look into is organization bias. When this bias is used, you are deliberately being manipulated. Continue reading 1. Bias: organization bias in radical gay-lib rhetoric

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 9/24: Soul Murder

Thirty years ago, Dr. Leonard Shengold MD, introduced the concept of “soul murder” to the world of psycho-analytically based therapy. His insights in the book “Soul Murder” (1989) were well acclaimed, and also prove to be useful as a uniting concept that explains why men with same-sex attractions can on the one hand be close to women, but on the other hand fail to fall in love with them. Let us follow his narrative on the way in which the authentic male child cannot be found any more at an adult level, lost in the mists of time. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 9/24: Soul Murder

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 8/24: Gregor’s answers, the fear issue

In his answers to the self-help questionnaire, Gregor from Ukraine sent me an array of traumatic memories of his boyhood on the farm where he grew up. As a child, he felt isolated and grew up to become extremely uncomfortable with the outside world. His fear of his peers is an issue which is seen very often in men struggling with same-sex attractions. We will show his answers, and then review them in relationship to (1) role of the father, (2) the role of the mother, (3) the role of peers and (4) Gregor’s anger and fear issues. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 8/24: Gregor’s answers, the fear issue

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 4/24: Breaking free from Squaw Camp

breaking-free-squaw-camp1In the previous article, we showed that your problem is living in Squaw Camp during your childhood years. There you learnt to suppress and deny any hint of opposite-sex attractions. But how did you manage to survive? What happened to you, in what way did you learn to comply? And, above all, how do you break free from those shackles? Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 4/24: Breaking free from Squaw Camp

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 2/24: The sensitivity gap

square-oneIn the previous chapter we ended by saying: “you need to feel good about Square One, to be continued”. Let us take a look at Square One, the way you always operate, and have done for as long as you can remember. We will focus on your sensitivity, and on how difficult it is to identify with men who are far less sensitive. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 2/24: The sensitivity gap

Exploring your full sexual potential, part 1/24: how sexuality works

Exploring your full sexual potential as a man, a 24 part stage coach ride. Many men feel same-sex attractions, and wonder about their opposite-sex capabilities. In this series, we will look deeply into those feelings, riding from stage coach stop to stage coach stop. Part 1: how sexuality works. Continue reading Exploring your full sexual potential, part 1/24: how sexuality works