The false notion of ‘sexual orientation’

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At the JONAH trial in 2014, radical gay activists and gay members of the American Psychological Association managed to close down an orthodox Jewish mutual support group (JONAH). The aim of the activists is to eradicate religious organizations who oppose radical gay-lib ideology. The extremists succeeded in doing so, and are anxious to close down more dissidence to their world-view, be it religious, secular or otherwise (People Can Change, Narth, etc.).

At the trial, the activists managed to hand in a lengthy report by APA activist Lee Beckstead. They succeeded in convincing the judge not to let psychologists from the other side of the debate enter the courtroom. The judge was already on their side beforehand. “Extremely gratifying”, according to the notorious activist W. Besen. Let us have a look at what this Beckstead has to say. We will prove he is a con-artist, and a very confused and heterophobic man.

martin.lutherIn twenty pages, he writes 93 theses to state his case. The world record holder is Martin Luther using 95 theses in the year 1517 to put his mark on history, nailing them to the church door. Beckstead and his colleagues would also like to do some nailing: those members of the APA who do not share his views. But to make up for his seeming insignificance, Beckstead proceeds in no less than another twenty pages to list all his feats, awards and memberships, and he draws our attention to almost every conversation he has had with students in his life. Yes, he is important, and has no trouble in making that very clear.

He attacks any therapy which aims to broaden one’s scope of sexual feelings. Such endeavors are morally wrong, inherently harmful, professionally futile and a personal waste of time, so he states. If you experience same-sex attractions in any way, then you are non-heterosexual, always have been, always will be. You are destined to be gay, and all professional help must be directed at embracing and affirming the gay label. It is called Gay Affirmative Therapy, the only way to go, so he states. The darkroom is your destiny, and the gay lifestyle is your fate. You were born a poof, you will die a poof. Any professional mental health worker who has another view on sexuality must be discredited, and with the help of activists, sent to jail.

The deadline is 2019 after which they hope legislation can be used in court against dissident psychotherapists to sentence and silence them. Just like Nelson Mandela was sent to Robben Island in 1964 for his dissident opinions, so should Joseph Nicolosi in 2020 be sent to San Quentin Prison, California, to do time. Activist Besen hopes this has a, quote “chilling effect” on all supporters of Nicolosi.

Supreme Court Rejects California Sentencing Law...SAN QUENTIN, CA - JANUARY 22: A guard stands at the entrance to the California State Prison at San Quentin January 22, 2007 in San Quentin, California. According to reports May 14, 2009, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has proposed selling San Quentin, the Los Angeles Coliseum and other properties owned by the state to lessen budget shortfalls. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Who is this jailer, Beckstead?

He is a radical gay-lib fanatic who, together with six other extremist gay psychologists, dominates the American Psychological Association. In his report, he writes that he is a psychologist now, and a psychotherapy-dropout since age 21. After a mere six months of therapy aimed at helping him deal with unwanted same-sex attractions, he prematurely quit and tried to give the subject some thought on his own. He remained confused, so he says, because he still felt same-sex attractions. At age 27 he gave up on the subject.

Since then he apparently considers himself to be an expert on the matter of orientation psychotherapy and, as a member of radical gay-lib, has put his whole weight behind efforts to market the most vital aspect of gay-lib ideology, the idea of an immutable ‘sexual orientation’.

He cooperates in a heavily funded campaign where ultra-gay extremists, activist APA psychologists and left-wing USA politicians join forces to crush any dissidence to gay-lib thought. He has been doing all he can for the last fifteen years to promote the born-that-way world-view on sexual feelings.

The report that he presented at the JONAH trial on the subject, and that we will review, is pompous and contains no doubts; he knows everything for sure. He seeks the certainty of legislation, to cover up and bring to a halt the arena of ongoing public debate and scientific questioning or research. No more exchange of views between civilized people when Beckstead is done. No way to go but his.

But his article is a house of cards. Why?

Quite simple: for a psychotherapist there is no such thing as a ‘sexual orientation’. The only thing that you can work on with a client is personal feelings and demonstrable behavior. They are the only things that really exist. A phrase like ‘sexual orientation’ is merely a label, a Western cultural convention, a sweeping generalization in which a vast amount of contradictory feelings, psychological resistances, behavior and ongoing social interaction is whittled down to a one-size-fits-all substance, put in a blender and then whisked until a single entity emerges. And science would prove all this to be correct, so the activist gay-lib psychologists claim.

But that entity coming out of the blender does not really exist.

Sexual orientation is merely an idea, a sociological abstraction, a divisive label to cut human reality into two bits. And “never the twain shall meet”, to make matters even worse. This cultural idea then starts living a life of its own. The more people repeat the abstract phrase, the more real it begins to sound. And if enough people engage in parroting what they have heard, then surely it must be true. And if it is true, then we must act on it. We must embrace it as a fundamental reality located deep down inside the mind of each and every individual. Surely it is located in genes, yes, absolutely down in the DNA. In a matter of time, the abstract sociological notion will be searched for, in the near-abouts of gene Xjy52 or 54. We haven’t found it yet, but the results are promising, so we are assured. Welcome to gay-lib ideology.

father-knows-bestBeckstead makes the impression to know better than anyone else out in society what people really want. In the old days, we had a paternalistic television programme called “Father Knows Best”. Every child had to bow down to the inevitable superiority of the male family patriarch. In this day and age, radical gay-lib seems to say the same.

In thesis 21 Beckstead writes:

“Dissatisfaction with a homosexual or bisexual orientation seems to be a function of internalized social stigma and the person’s inability to deal effectively with that stigma.”

What is he saying? He says that your yearning to do something with opposite-sex attractions stems from social stigma, from the external hostile world, from a homophobic society, not from your own desires, fantasies and urges. A statement on behalf of others! Has Beckstead got X-ray eyes? Does he know better than the client himself what he really wants?

Many radical gay-libbers cannot imagine that a healthy guy would actually desire relationships with the opposite sex of his own accord. They cannot imagine that a man can get a sexual arousal when he fantasizes about a woman who slowly but surely comes closer and then kisses him gently but persistently on the lips. Nope, according to them, it is all caused by nasty social pressure. In fact, they are saying that there is nothing natural about opposite-sex attractions: OSA’s do not stem from within (natural) but from without (a nasty normatitive society). They know for sure.

We call this phenomenon heterophobia, and many ultra-gays seem to indulge in it. You can almost hear him say: “And if heterophobia is good enough for me, then it is good enough for you.”.

In thesis 22 we see:

“Non-heterosexuals who are traditionally religious tend to believe they have to “fight” their attractions and believe that being LGB will lead them only to unhappiness, self-indulgence, disease, and infidelity (Beckstead & Morrow).”

Note how the author refers to unbiased scientific data written by, oops, dr. Beckstead.

If you need consultation on unwanted SSA’s, then it is best to see what unbiased science has to say about it. You need to consult unbiased professionals, specifically the American Psychological Association. They will refer you to the Task Force on Same Sex Attractions. And they will refer you to their most distinguished and savvy member, oops, dr. Beckstead.

In order to avoid this bias, you need to go to the Federal Trade Commission which is a watchdog on deceptive practices. A very reliable organization. It is kept awake by an array of professional watchdogs, who are savvy of the issue at hand. They complain to the FTC and make them rise and shine each morning. On this issue, be assured that watchdogs will watch over you. The most important watchdog is, oops, dr. Beckstead.

In thesis 68, we see:

“68. Given all of the above variables, it is misinformed and unscientific to accept a sexual conversion testimonial at face value or to use these testimonials to promote SOCE. Such testimonials are not objective, scientific evidence of sexual orientation change. “

Let us for the sake of argument, change the words “successful sexual conversion” with the words “harm”:

“68. Given all of the above variables, it is misinformed and unscientific to accept a ‘harm’ testimonial at face value or to use these testimonials to denounce SOCE. Such testimonials are not objective, scientific evidence of harm caused by therapy”.

Beckstead concludes negative things:

“69. Many SOCE consumers are being blamed for not changing and not trying hard enough”.

If a client chickens out of therapy after 6 months, then the feelings can only be negative. Psychotherapy is for the mind what bodybuilding is for the body. Here are the three golden rules:

  1. Stay away from negative people who denounce you
  2. No pain, no gain
  3. Have patience, growth does not come overnight. It is a way of life.

What is emancipation?

In the first emancipation phase which started with Freud at the beginning of the previous century, discussing heterosexuality became permissible, a major step forward, ultimately leading to birth control and women’s emancipation. In the second emancipation phase in the seventies of the previous century, same-sex attractions and behavior became a subject to discuss and respect.

In the third emancipation phase in this new millennium, we at exgaycalling wish to do away with the notion of ‘fixed sexual orientations’, and learn to look freely at feelings and behavior without the biased labels of the previous emancipation phases, with all their religious condemnations on the one hand and more recently gay-lib prison sentences on the other.

Sexual orientation’ does not exist in reality, it is merely an idea and a very bad one at that. You do not possess an innate ‘orientation’; there is no internal compass inside the mind which directs feelings, social interactions and sexual organs in a certain direction; there is no entity at birth; and your gravestone has not already been assigned a specific location no matter what. This train of thought is rubbish. Because that is all it really is: just a train of thought. And it has gone adrift, leading a life of its own, becoming a convention to the extent that even orientation therapists find themselves using the phrase when harassed by activists.

Gay-libbers stress that you have an innate ‘sexual orientation’ after which you obviously will sense feelings and demonstrate behavior. In spite of this orientation which would be present deep inside you, waiting as a rose bud in Spring to flourish, you may choose an identity and even fool yourself in doing so, but first and foremost you are prone to this magical entity, this ‘orientation’, this fairy dust which is sprinkled over you at birth by fate and which will pollinate everything you do and desire.

But the use of the phrase will be your downfall. You are not oriented in one of two directions. You are oriented at your own body and at other people in general. And where this leads to, is each individual’s personal history, or drama if you will. Growth does not stop at age 6, 16 or 26. Sexual feelings and behavior are learned, as is love of classical music or appreciation of modern art. No child is born with an innate love for modern abstract paintings, for example. It is learned and takes time, and can change even at old age.

Appreciation of one’s own sexual feelings is the result of psychological and social-cultural factors, not the result of innate genetics. This has been proven over and over again.

In the third emancipation phase, we must leave the false and constructed notion of ‘sexual orientation’ behind us, and solely look into feelings and behavior. Growing, placing accents on other feelings or desires in due time, experimenting and evaluating your past will be the challenge. We will leave labels behind us, just as skin color at the end of the day is neither here nor there.

Only in this way can we reach a higher level of thought and social interaction; only in this way is emancipation really promoted, not by slamming the cell doors at San Quentin.

Job Berendsen MD, Amsterdam.