Ex-gays are basically bisexuals, a life-saving opinion

image_pdfClick for pdf, print or save

bisexual3Ex-gays would do well in light of the current wave of persecution to call themselves bisexual. The bisexual identity is protected by American law. At this time, extremist gay-lib takes offense at the phrase ‘unwanted’ same-sex attractions. This phrase is very often used by clients and therapists alike to describe the fact that people who experience same-sex attractions want to look into, and develop their innate heterosexual potential. But for gay-lib it is the motor of persecution in court and through legislative bodies in American states.

Thanks to the Democratic Party and Obama the chase is on, on a national scale for people and for therapists alike, who dare say same-sex attractions are unwanted. Why do persecutors do that, and how can we protect ourselves? Simple, it is just a matter of the use of words, nothing more, nothing less.

In the perception of many, sexuality would have but two flavors: you either experience same-sex attractions (SSA’s), or you experience opposite-sex attractions (OSA’s). You therefore would basically be homosexual or heterosexual, you would have either a homosexual ‘orientation’ or a heterosexual ‘orientation’. We claim nothing could be less true and we urge all those who are now persecuted by radical gay-lib to stop using this two-sided polarity. Instead, we urge people to temporarily embrace the identity of bisexuality in this persecution wave, as a third mode of sexual operation, because it creates a safe haven from gay-lib intolerance and totalitarianism.

What gay-lib basically says is, that you cannot experience OSA’s in your nervous system when you already experience SSA’s. Once you experience SSA’s, then you have a basic homosexual ‘orientation’, so is their train of thought; then your nervous system is showing some sort of basic condition or programming, something biological or genetic, something fixed, some sort of end point in human nervous system development. There is no scientific proof for this assumption in any way, but that does not stop them from turning this assumption into mainstream belief.

On her website Kathy Labriola, Counselor/Nurse, writes:

“What is bisexuality?

There is a lot of confusion about the concept of bisexuality. Many people are 100% gay or lesbian, in other words they are sexually and emotionally attracted only to partners of the same sex.  Others are completely heterosexual, bonding in sexual and intimate relationships only with people of another sex.  But what about everybody else?  A significant percentage of people do not fit neatly into either of these categories, because they experience sexual and emotional attractions and feelings for people of different genders at some point during their lives.  For lack of a better term, they are called bisexuals.

Many people hate this term, for a variety of reasons, and prefer to call themselves “pansexual,” “non-preferential,” “sexually fluid,” “ambisexual,” or simply “queer.” This is particularly true for young people under the age of 40, who consider the term “bisexual” to be outdated and limiting, and do not identify with this lable at all. Since there is no consensus on this terminology and no other widely-accepted term has yet emerged, I will use “bisexual” in this discussion to describe everyone who does not identify as completely straight or completely gay.

The Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey scale of zero  to six was developed  by sex researcher and pioneer Alfred Kinsey to describe sexual orientation as a continuum from zero to six.  Heterosexual people are at “zero” on the scale, gay and lesbian people are at  “six”  at the other end of the scale, and everyone in between, from one to five, is bisexual.

People who fall at one or two on the scale have primarily heterosexual  sexual and affectional relationships and desires, but have some attraction and experiences with same -sex  partners  as well.  People at three on the scale are approximately equally attracted to both men and women.  People at four and five on the Kinsey scale choose primarily same-sex partners, but are not completely gay or lesbian and have some heterosexual tendencies and relationships as well.”

On their website the Bisexual Resource Center writes:

“Here’s my current definition of bisexuality. “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge in myself the potential to be attracted, romantically and/or sexually, to people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.

Bisexuality isn’t more complicated than that: “attraction to more than one gender.” It’s not incompatible with identifying as gay or straight, either. Bisexuality is proof that sexuality isn’t “either/or,” it’s “and.

On their website the Bisexual Index UK writes:

“Everyone accepts that it’s possible for a person to be attracted to people of more than one height, weight, hair colour, or race. For bisexuals that openness also includes gender. If you’re wondering if you are bisexual, take our bisexuality test!

You don’t have to be equally attracted to red-heads and brunettes to be attracted to both, and preferring lettuce to liver doesn’t make you a vegetarian, so why do some people insist that “true” bisexuals are exactly and equally attracted to men and women? We suspect it’s to keep the numbers of bisexuals down, or to excuse themselves from identifying as bi.”

Gay-lib denies that in your central nervous system, SSA’s can flow together with OSA’s, or that through a bisexual phase, sexual orientation can drift towards the heterosexual extreme of the sexual orientation scale. They fail to acknowledge bisexuality as a fluid condition which can make people after time even ending up at a heterosexual identity. They see bisexuality also as a fixed condition, and claim it to be part of gay-lib, i.e. non-heterosexual. Heterosexuality is for many gays a threat to their identity. Heterosexual feelings are for them extremely unwanted.

We cannot find words which satisfy all people struggling with SSA’s and at the same time all people who denounce the phrase unwanted SSA’s. One must realize that the phrase “unwanted SSA’s” means for many that homosexuality is UNWANTED. Therefore you would be anti-gay, and you will be the foe, allegedly spreading prejudice and hatred, whether you deny it or not.

We have written an article to that extent previously on this website: “Same-sex attractions as offensive language” (click here). Using the phrase “unwanted SSA’s” is a recipe for disaster in view of current gay-lib intolerance.

Bisexuality does not mean you are busy all day in an endless orgy of sex addiction. Bisexuals can, like others, be committed to faithful relationships. Bisexual in the  sense of the psychiatric word means that you experience to varying degrees SSA’s and OSA’s. What you do with them is no part of the phrase itself. Within the bisexual spectrum you can move about, not all at the same time, but during the course of your life. No-one ever said that bisexuals wake up with a woman in bed in the morning, then have sex with a guy in the afternoon and date yet another woman for supper.

In accordance with the three websites mentioned above, we must introduce a 3-point scale instead of a 2-point scale in the discussion about orientation therapy. We propose the following definitions:

-“Gay” means you experience SSA’s, no OSA’s and don’t want to either. You refuse the idea of OSA’s, consider them ‘other’, not-me, and do not seek to explore the innate bisexual capability of your humanness.

-“Heterosexual” means the exact opposite: you experience exclusively OSA’s, no SSA’s, and consider SSA’s to be ‘other’, not-me.

-“Bisexual” is anything in between these two opposites. It means you recognize SSA’s in yourself but are also aware of OSA’s, or the possibility of OSA’s and do not feel you fit into the “Gay” identity. You do not recognize or acknowledge the unfounded notion that your orientation is fixed, as if it were one side of a metal (and therefore an immutable) coin.

In wikipedia, we see:

“The term bisexuality is mainly used in the context of human attraction to denote romantic or sexual feelings toward both men and women, and the concept is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation along with heterosexuality and homosexuality, which are each parts of the heterosexual–homosexual continuum. A bisexual identity does not necessarily equate to equal sexual attraction to both sexes; commonly, people who have a distinct but not exclusive sexual preference for one sex over the other also identify themselves as bisexual.”

Bisexuality is protected by American law. It is officially recognized as an identity and can be used in court and in legislative councils to advance the interests of people with SSA’s who wish to take their sexual orientation one step further.

For example in title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (click here), we read:usa-law3

“As the nation’s largest employer, the Federal Government should set an example for other employers that employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity is not acceptable. All federal workers
—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals—should be able to perform their jobs free from any unlawful discrimination.

Key Definitions
Sexual orientation means one’s emotional or physical attraction to the same and/or opposite sex.

Agencies, including federal officials and managers, should commit to promoting a work environment that is free from sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination, in accordance with existing federal law.”

If you have OSA’s but also experience SSA’s, you are to be labeled bisexual in our view, whether you like the psychiatric phrase or not. If you have SSA’s but do not wish to be labeled exclusively gay, you are entitled to the label bisexual. And since you are not exclusively heterosexual, this leaves you indeed with one place to go: bisexual.

It is just a category, guys, no more. And it is our life buoy in these troubled times.

A 2-point scale must be denounced at all times, because gay means by definition no OSA’s, and straight means no SSA’s. Anything short of this is then bisexual, whether you appreciate the phrase or not. And the phrase is legally protected, freeing us from the current wave of gay-lib persecution of orientation therapy, i.e. all therapy aimed at exploring or expanding your vast sexual potential.

Gay-lib claims to represent the interests of bisexuals when they use the phrase LGBT. But isn’t that a lie? Isn’t gay-lib only interested in the homosexual aspect of bisexuality? It does not seem to us that gay-lib supports, applauds, encourages or facilitates heterosexual behavior within its ranks, a behavior which is inherently part of the bisexual spectrum. It is essential to emphasize this in court. Their claim to represent bisexuals must be challenged in legal procedures.

With the use of the right words at the right moment, we can appeal to the protection of sexual minorities, a protection which in the USA has been legally regulated. We must use the phrase and its protection to our advantage. The word bisexuality is our way out of the current totalitarian gay-lib nightmare.

If this doesn’t ring a bell with ex-gays and if people keep on using a 2-point sexuality scale, then we are done for. Then you truly would appear to be aiming to change, to cure and to damage the sacred label of gay, because there would be but two labels. The phrase bisexual gives you an officially recognized identity where you can look into your feelings as much as you like, without outside interference and without having to battle a paranoid gay emancipation movement which denounces or gets distressed about the word ‘unwanted’.

On their website  the authors of Biresource.net write:

“The BRC uses bisexual as an umbrella term for people who recognize and honor their potential for sexual and emotional attraction to more than one gender (pansexual, fluid, omnisexual, queer, and all other free-identifiers). We celebrate and affirm the diversity of identity and expression regardless of labels.”

In the defense of PCC in part 4 of our series of articles we will use the phrase “bisexual” in the sense as meant above. We must defend our rights in exactly the same way that people with for example gender dysphoria seek recognition for “who they are”. If being a transgender is to be considered protected, then so is seeking to overcome unwanted SSA’s. Otherwise, we as the bisexual minority are being discriminated against. Gay-lib’s ordering free people around and diminishing their freedom of choice as a recognized sexual minority, is in violation of US law itself.

Job Berendsen, MD, Amsterdam.